Why Did Jesus Ask Peter If He Loved Him Three Times?
Do You Love Me?
We recently concluded a Bible study on the Gospel of John at our local church. At the end of that study, we spent a good amount of time discussing a question that I know a lot of people ask and wrestle with. Understanding why Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him three times is an important topic to grasp.
So, why did Jesus ask Peter three times if he loved Him? The usual answers to this question focus on either reinstating Peter from his previous three denials or as a platform to discuss the different Greek words used for love. Whatever merit there may be to these discussions, they tend to overemphasize secondary issues and miss the primary reason. As this conversation took place, Jesus was going to ascend to heaven in the near future. Jesus is tasking Peter with leadership of the church and is preparing Peter for the true responsibility he will have as he follows Jesus until the end. This answer may not be as flashy or interesting to some readers but it is weightier. This question isn’t just about Peter and his willingness to follow Christ. It is part of John’s purpose in writing this Gospel in the first place: so Christians will know what it means to come to Jesus, to believe in Him, and to follow Him until the end.
The modern call to believe in Jesus stops short of this full message that John’s Gospel declares. Peter’s interaction with Jesus was recorded so that believers in the Lord Jesus Christ will understand our responsibility as individuals to follow Jesus to the end.
Come, Believe, Follow
The modern message of Christianity is easily summarized as: Come, Believe.
That is, people are invited to come to Jesus and to believe in Him.
This is an abbreviated version of the true biblical message. The full message can be summarized with the slightly longer: Come, Believe, Follow. Don’t miss our devotional study guide on the Gospel of John by this same title — for more info about Come, Believe, Follow click the link.
As we read the Gospel of John, this message becomes clearer and clearer. John tells us his purpose for writing with his own words.
Therefore many other signs Jesus also performed in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these have been written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name. (John 20:30-31)
If we rip this statement out of context, we may conclude that the modern message is sufficient. However, treating this purpose statement as support of the modern message has resulted in many interpreters and commentators saying that the final chapter of John’s Gospel is an appendix which has been added on at the end. But is this the best interpretation? I don’t think so.
John makes another statement of his purpose in recording the things he did in the final chapter.
This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true. And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written. (John 21:24-25)
John tells us that his testimony is true. John also states that Jesus did many other things he was not inspired to record. When we take these purpose statements from the final two chapters together, we see that John intends for his readers to believe in Jesus and find life in His name. That’s why he recorded what he did. Therefore, this final chapter is not simply an appendix but is a continuation of the message of what it means (according to the Apostle John) to believe in Jesus. The Apostle John understood belief in Jesus differently than many modern people do.
John’s definition of believing includes following. All throughout John’s Gospel people believe in Jesus but then fall away after a time. The verb follow appears nearly 20 times in John’s Gospel. They are worth re-reading in their context. Here is a list for your convenience:
John 1:37-38
John 1:40
John 1:43
John 6:2
John 8:12
John 10:4-5
John 10:27
John 11:31
John 12:26
John 13:36-37
John 18:15
John 20:6
John 21:19-20
John 21:22
John’s purpose is so that his readers will understand what it means to come to Jesus and believe in Him. This true belief includes following Jesus, no matter what, until the end. Therefore, this so-called “appendix” is not an appendix at all. It is the natural conclusion of the Gospel. The interaction with Peter is recorded for the benefit of the readers. Peter leads by example and is included to teach everyone who wants to believe in Jesus an important lesson.
Counting the Cost to Follow Jesus
Immediately following Jesus’s questioning to Peter in John 21:15-17, Jesus tells Peter of the cost of following Him.
“Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to gird yourself and walk wherever you wished; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will gird you, and bring you where you do not wish to go.” Now this He said, signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, “Follow Me!” (John 21:18-19, emphasis added)
It’s easy to claim we love Jesus. It’s cheap to say we believe. But are we willing to count the cost and endure until the end? This is the question Jesus is really asking Peter.
Peter had expressed a willingness to follow and even die for Jesus (John 13:36-37). It was in response to this statement that Jesus said Peter would soon deny Him three times (John 13:38). Peter demonstrated a willingness to fight for Jesus (contrary to Jesus’s will!) when they came to arrest Jesus in the garden (John 18:10-11). But then Peter denied Christ exactly as Jesus had foretold (John 18:15-27).
In John 21, Jesus is telling Peter that the cost of following Him will include laying down his life for Jesus in order to glorify God. Peter had just acknowledged three times that he loved Jesus. But when Jesus tells Peter the implications of following until the end, Peter doesn’t just say, “Yes, Lord.” Instead, he looks around and asks:
Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them; the one who also had leaned back on His bosom at the supper and said, “Lord, who is the one who betrays You?” So Peter seeing him said to Jesus, “Lord, and what about this man?” (John 21:20-21, emphasis added)
What about this man?
Much of what Jesus calls His people to do is difficult. Sometimes we read about God’s amazing power to deliver. But for every deliverance from the mouths of lions like Daniel, we see recorded in history hundreds of Christians who died after being thrown to wild beasts. For each deliverance like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, we see hundreds more who were consumed by the flames. We read about Paul continuing on after being stoned and Stephen dying where he stood. All of these circumstances bring glory to God through His faithful followers.
Many are willing to follow Jesus if they get the call to be miraculously delivered. But what if Jesus calls you to something less glamorous? Something more painful?
It is in response to the hard teachings of Jesus that many followers begin to squirm. To look around. To deflect and ask the same question Peter did. What about them?
Jesus’s response to Peter is direct, clear, and intense.
Jesus said to him, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!” (John 21:22, emphasis added)
Jesus is Lord. He has the sovereignty to direct His people according to His perfect will. As He leads and directs all of His people, it is not our task to look around and see what everyone else is supposed to be doing. Instead, we each stand accountable before our Lord alone.
John recorded this conversation so his readers would have the opportunity to wrestle with the same reality that Peter was faced with. When we claim to believe in Jesus, are we also willing to follow Him, no matter what He calls us to do or what He calls others to do?
Agape Vs. Phileo — Love, Love, Love
The fact that Greek has several different words that can be translated as love in English has been discussed ad nauseam. When brought to the passage in John 21, the synonyms for love tend to overshadow the two other sets of synonyms being used in the same passage:
So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My lambs.” He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep.” (John 21:15-17, emphasis added)
If you’re keeping track, there are two different words translated love being used. There are also synonyms for tend/shepherd and sheep/lambs. For whatever reason, most modern commentators find tons of significance in one of these parallels and neglect the other two.
I know that this information is circulated widely. I know if you read other articles on this same question, they’ll likely tell you how important this distinction is. I also think that if you’ll look again at the immediate context, you can see fairly easily that this is not the right thing to focus on. It may sell a lot of books and make for an interesting sermon. But that doesn’t make it right.
The fact that these terms should be treated as synonyms here, and not as two different terms expressing two different ideas that only those trained in Greek can notice, appreciate, and understand, is stated plainly by John. The following image will help to make it clear which word was used where in this passage.
Agape Vs. Philew in John 21
The third round uses philew by both Jesus and Peter. The text says that this is the third time. Yet, if the analysis seen so often is correct, this is a new question. It also shouldn’t grieve Peter, because Jesus is finally asking the question that Peter had been answering all along.
A better way to look at this is that Peter is grieved because of the same question being asked a third time, using synonymous language. Imagine you were speaking with someone you love and they asked you three successive times if you loved them. I imagine that would grieve you a little bit, too.
Don’t you believe me when I say that I love you? Why do you keep asking me?
If you examine the usage of the different words for love in Greek, you’ll find pretty quickly that the actual usage doesn’t really align with the neat, clear categories you hear repeated so often and confidently about the differences between Phileo and Agape love. The NET Bible has a helpful and informative note on this.
Is there a significant difference in meaning between the two words for love used in the passage, [agapaw and philew]? Aside from Origen, who saw a distinction in the meaning of the two words, most of the Greek Fathers like Chrysostom and Cyril of Alexandria, saw no real difference of meaning. Neither did Augustine nor the translators of the Itala (Old Latin). This was also the view of the Reformation Greek scholars Erasmus and Grotius. The suggestion that a distinction in meaning should be seen comes primarily from a number of British scholars of the 19th century, especially Trench, Westcott, and Plummer. It has been picked up by others such as Spicq, Lenski, and Hendriksen. But most modern scholars decline to see a real difference in the meaning of the two words in this context, among them Bernard, Moffatt, Bonsirven, Bultmann, Barrett, Brown, Morris, Haenchen, and Beasley-Murray.
So, instead of relying on shaky new definitions of love, from non-native speakers, based on things that many readers can’t truly evaluate because they haven’t been trained in Koine Greek, let’s focus on how John, the author of this Gospel, defined love for Jesus.
“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” (John 14:15)
“He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” (John 14:21)
Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father's who sent Me.” (John 14:23-24)
“If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love.” (John 15:10)
but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: (1 John 2:5)
For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome. (1 John 5:3)
Noticing a trend?
While the world often views love as simply an emotion, the Apostle John reflects the teaching of Christ about the result of love being tied to keeping God’s word and living obediently to what He has commanded. In John 21, Jesus is asking Peter if he really loves Him. It is easy to say it but will Peter actually follow until the end? He had recently said he would die for Jesus but had denied Him three times. Would he truly demonstrate his own love for Christ by obeying the call to shepherd Christ’s people and eventually die a terrible death to glorify God after Jesus ascended into heaven to take His rightful seat in glory? That’s a heavier question. It’s why Jesus asked him three times. This was no superficial question. It runs deep. For Peter and also for all of us who claim to love the Lord.
Publicly Reinstated?
After Peter’s denials, it seems natural that Jesus would want to publicly affirm Peter so he could lead the church after Christ ascended into heaven. However, this is not the primary purpose of this passage. We must be careful not to exalt Peter above his proper place, which is under the headship of the exalted Christ.
For more on the difference between man-centered vs. God-centered theology, read our articles linked here.
If we take the incorrect view that John 21 is simply an appendix, then this reinstatement of Peter is all about Peter. However, if we take John 21 as the natural conclusion of John’s Gospel theme of Come, Believe, Follow, then this interaction is all about Jesus and what it means to truly follow Him until the end.
An additional difficulty with viewing this as a reinstatement: it assumes that Peter had lost something that needed to be given back. However, this is not the case. It is true that Peter had done the wrong thing. It wasn’t the first time. It wouldn’t be the last. Praise God that Peter’s salvation — and ours, too — isn’t based on our works of righteousness! Peter had failed to honor the Lord, but he hadn’t lost anything. Jesus, therefore, was not reinstating Peter because reinstatement wasn’t needed. Peter’s role in the church of Christ remained constant.
Related Questions
Why did Peter deny Jesus three times? Peter denied the Lord three times as a result of being questioned by the crowd following the arrest of Jesus. Immediately following his third denial the rooster crowed and Peter remembered Jesus’ prophecy that this would happen, causing Peter to weep. Had the word of Christ not come true with this sign, it is conceivable that Peter would have continued to deny Jesus many more times over the course of the night.
What did Jesus mean when He asked Peter if he loved Him “more than these”? Three main interpretations have been offered: 1) if Peter loves Jesus more than the material goods (his fishing equipment, etc.); 2) if Peter loves Jesus more than the other disciples also love Jesus; or 3) if Peter loves Jesus more than Peter loves the other disciples. Each of these interpretations are grammatically possible, so the context will be the best factor in deciding which interpretation is best. It is likely that the 2nd or 3rd options are preferable to the 1st.